“He Choked Me Without My Consent” – How to avoid this and ensure safe sex practices

Safe sex practices are more important now than ever, especially in today’s dating scene filled with self-absorbed partners who believe that once you consented to sex with them, everything else goes.  Exploring your sexuality should be exciting and empowering, not something that would leave you feeling uneasy or unsafe. 

Many people have found themselves in situations they never expected, like choking during sex without their express permission. If this has ever happened to you, then you definitely know how unsettling it can be, but if it has not well, Let’s make sure you never have to experience it.

Why is choking during sex so common now?

Not long ago, choking was considered extreme, now it is practically mainstream. If you have noticed, more partners seem to be reaching for your neck without warning, you are not imagining things. You can blame it on porn, pop culture or the normalization of rough sex, whatever the cause; choking during sex is happening more often, and not always with your consent.

Related article: Side effects of masturbation in women: The truth about your body

And the problem is that many people engaging in this don’t fully understand how dangerous it is. A little pressure in the wrong spot can cut off your oxygen supply, cause you to be unconscious, or even lead to brain damage and death in extreme cases. To be honest, no one should have to pause mid-hookup to Google “how to safely choke someone” or “safe sex practices”.

Safe sex practices: Setting boundaries before things get heated 

The best way to avoid these unwanted surprises is to talk about your expectations before clothes start coming off. I know it is not the sexiest conversation, but trust me, it will save you from the awkward or straight-up scary moments when someone randomly assumes you are into something you never agreed to.

Try something direct but casual like “Hey, just so we are clear, I’m not into choking. And if there’s anything else you are into that is beyond the basics, let’s talk about it now.”

This keeps things open while making it clear that your comfort matters. If someone dismisses your concerns or reacts weirdly, then consider it your cue to run. Girl to girl, you do not want to be caught pants down with someone who don’t respect your boundaries or prioritize your safety.  

How to have casual fling while ensuring safe sex practices 

Sex should be fun, not something that leaves you feeling powerless or unsafe. A few precautions can make all the difference:

Meet in public first. Grabbing a coffee or a drink before heading somewhere private gives you time to assess the vibe.

Have an exit plan. Keeping your own transportation or an easy way to leave ensures you are never stuck in an uncomfortable situation.

Share your location with a friend. A simple “Hey, I’m meeting someone at [place], check in later” adds an extra layer of security.

Safe sex practices go beyond using safe condoms and birth control, it should also include making sure you feel physically and emotionally secure.

Stealthing and other violations: Know the red flags

Non-consensual choking during sex is not the only issue people are facing now, Stealthing, which is removing a safe condom without consent, also is another major violation that is being normalized by many today. If your partner refuses to use protection, tries to pressure you into something you clearly do not want or removes the protection without your knowledge, that is not just “bad behavior”, it is straight-up disrespect. 

Know that someone who is willing to cross that line, will probably be willing to cross others too and recognizing these red flags early can save you from a lot of bad situations.

You call the shots

Sex should be empowering, exciting, and completely on your terms. Safe sex practices are not just about being paranoid, rather they are all about making sure you can enjoy yourself without regrets. 

Setting boundaries, recognizing the red flags, and most importantly, going with your gut feelings will help you create experiences that are fulfilling, not regrettable. Because at the end of the day, sex should be hot, fun, and thrilling, not something that would leave a bad taste in your mouth. Stay safe.